“Courage is saying, 'Maybe what I'm doing isn't working; maybe I should try something else.'”


~Anna Lappe

How to impress on the first date...

So, on occasion I have put out text messages to my guy friends, asking a random question (short hair vs long, blonde, brunette or redhead, random things like this). I have decided to keep tabs on the questions and responses I get, cause I find it interesting/funny.


Tonight's Question was:
What is the best way for a woman to make a good impression on a first date?
Responses were as follows:


From Spartacus (#5):
"Laugh at all of his jokes, no matter how lame they are, and then put out by the end of the night."
"And yes, I'm joking. Laughing at lame jokes is totally optional."
(from me: "it was a serious question!)
"Ah, in that case, never having personally been  a GIRL on a date, all I say is to listen politely in conversation and don't be a bitch (and let him pay)."
"And if he expects you to pay, or go dutch = Red Flag."


From Humphrey Bogart (#6):
"Go naked! ;)"
(from me: "I'm serious!)
"So was I. Just be yourself you're an awesome person if he doesn't like you for who you are, f@#$ him, I think you're great. ;)"


From Loser:
"put real interest in what he might talk about."


From Daughtry:
"Eat"
"And then don't make him start all the conversations. Equal shares.  :)"


From Crazy!:
"Obviously you want to display your intelligence, and don't worry about how pretentious you may seem. Then act sexy, and drop inuendoes. Those two will blend"


From Four:
"Make jokes"
"Dont be weird or be afraid to touch"


From Brown:
"Well I am multi faceted so it depends on the gubut be yourself and show your smart and not a push over make him work for it"


From de Play-a:
"Spread ur legs and wear perfume that smells like Beer. Sweet, sweet Beer"
"Or smile, be playful, and have confidence. Either works."


From Galveston:
"Telling them if you want a second date"


From Creeper:
"Be yourself first of all, because you're awesome. Second be willing to come up with ideas if he runs short of plans and let you sense of humor out since laughter is a great memory booster."


From Married:
"The best way for a woman to make a good impression on a first date is by not walking out when she finds out I have been married for 8 years."


:) This is exactly what I got back from the guys (punctuation, spelling and all), no typos on my end. I got some interesting responses, and I have awesome guy friends!

Whilst, yes whilst.

So, whilst reading a fantasy book (cause I like them, and I have time for reading again) I came across this passage, and I liked it:

"Let the warriors clamor after gods of blood and thunder; love is hard, harder than steel and thrice as cruel. It is as inexorable as the tides, and life and death alike follow in it's wake."
~from Kushiel's Chosen by Jacqueline Carey

Florida Sunshine

So I got back from a week in Florida last night. Was an interesting time. Happily, I stayed with #5, who commented on the fact that I seem happier and healthier than I have been the last few times he's seen me. And, well, we did have some fun... but he was more distant than he has been. At first. After last time, I think one of our mutual friends must have tipped him off to how obvious certain things about his body language were. He had a very... studied way of acting toward me, at first. As my trip wore on, he slipped back into his old body language: rubbing my knee in the car, pulling me close to him on the couch, holding me as we slept, leaning toward me and mirroring my body language at meals. All very indicative body language. It's time. Time to say good bye. The very thought of it makes me want to cry. But it's what I have to do. In order to reach Happy and Healthy, I can't continue to give him love, not if it will be unreturned. I will tell him that I wish he would give us one more chance, that I think it's one we deserve, but that I am a realist, so good bye. Don't ask me how I'll do this without breaking down in front of him, but I have to. I have to.


Friday #5 and I went for Lollicup, then (as is our habit) went to Bad Apple Comics next door for a while, then hit Barnes and Noble. Once in B&N, we went our separate ways, wondering about the store. I was hit on by three different strangers... it made me smile, like a lot. Especially the guy who asked me why I was so beautiful (#22). I've been hit on enough that it doesn't usually make me blush, but this guy succeeded in making me blush. #23 and #24 weren't nearly as fun of memories, they were very... average. But at least #22 will stay in my memory. Saturday night went drinking with #5, met up with an old friend... #25. He walked up and grabbed my butt by way of a greeting. I love him. #5 started a tab and told me to get whatever I want to drink on the tab. Which, well, that's nice enough as it is. When I got up to go get myself my second drink, I was intercepted by a man at the bar, who bought me a shot. Love my life.


On an unhealthy note, my night shirt smells like #5, it makes me happy.

Break Even

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing, just prayin to a god that I don't beleive in. Cause I got time while [he] got freedom. Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even... What am I s'posed to do when the best part of me was always you? What am I s'posed to say when I'm choked up and you're OK? I'm falling to pieces... They say bad things happen for a reason, but no wise words gonna stop the bleedin'. Cause [he]'s moved on while I'm still greiving, and when a heart breaks, no it don't break, no it don't break even.

What am I gonna do, when the best part of me was always you?
What am I s'posed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?
I'm falling to pieces, yeah.
I'm falling to pieces.



I'm staying in your apartment, sleeping in your bed, and I'm falling to pieces.

I shoulda stayed here

I wish so many things, I wish I had done so many things differently. But I can't change what has been done. There are things that have happened in my life because of the decision I made that are good, and spectacular, but I still wish I had made a different decision.

le sigh

la la laaaaaaa!

I will be in Florida in 4 days!!! YAY!!! While I'm there, I'm gonna be looking at apartments to live in, from the research I've done, I think I've found a place -Bella Apartments- that will be nice, have to actually tour the place before making any decisions, but hopefully I'll soon be calling it home. Still no word yet on the Professional Internship, I would really REALLY like to know soon. But most notably, before I leave FL to come back to TX, so I can sign a lease and start getting everything cemented and ready for the summer.

This summer is going to get a pretty awesome kick-off, tho. May 30-June 1 I'm going on a Caribbean Cruise with my family. It will be AMAZING!! can't wait. And then I'll go straight to Florida for the summer. (I'm excited, if you couldn't tell)

4 days to Florida!

Maximum 21 days until I hear about the PI!

the waiting = killing me

this sucks

So, I've been working out consistently for the last two weeks (and inconsistently before that), and I have come to a conclusion. Back in high school, when I was swimming 4-5 miles a day (six days a week) and spending every other day in the weight room AND dancing a few times a week, I must have been a masochist. (random factoid of the day) Either that, or I'm getting old. Honestly, I better start loosing weight soon, cause I don't know how I can be doing this and eating less and not be loosing weight.

I leave you with a simple word:

OW!

#6 has been texting me all day. Kinda makes me happy. Dirty texting always makes me happy, though. Why is it that I only seem to be attracted to guys whom I don't live near? Seriously!

I'm sexy

http://boxbrown.com/?p=716

Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.

-Mark Twain 

How news is delivered...

I have it from a reliable source that if I am accepted for a Professional Internship, I should be getting a phone call, and if I am not accepted, the denial will come in the form of an e-mail. I'm so incredible nervous to find out, despite the fact that I feel like I'm well qualified for a PI, I don't like waiting. I was originally told mid-April, but they later started telling people "by May 1st" so who knows. Sometime in the next 24 days I'll find out.

*insert freak out here*

wow, I've kinda been neglecting the list...

so... first off, good news! I will be staying with #5 next week when I'm in Florida. I shall play it cool and not push for anything. I am just so happy to be staying with him.


#17... So about a week and a half ago my sister and I went out for Thai food, and we ended up being helped by the Assistant Manager. It was a slow night, and the waiters were sitting around not doing anything, but HE came over and was helping us. Very cute and flirty. Then, he comes over and tells us that our car has a flat, so when we were done he came out and changed the tire for us (behold: the power of the skirt). So I asked him if I could buy him a drink when he got off work, as a way of saying thank you, so he called me when he got off work and we met up for some beers at BJ's. Unfortunately, he had a gang sign tattooed on his arm and some of his friends swung by, and they were SKETCH. But it was fun for a night.


#18 was yet another waiter. My life is funny. Mondays are (were, H now works nights, so it doesn't work anymore) Margarita Mondays. We would go to this little mexican restaurant for happy hour (which lasts two days) and for yummy food. Last time we were there, #18 was one of our waiters (we had like, 5). He literally asked me if I knew what the name of the meal I ordered - la bonita- meant, and then told me it meant "Beautiful, just like you" (!!) and then later flat out asked me if I had a boyfriend, and if I needed one. It was REALLY REAALLLY FUNNY! #19, #20, and #21 were all our waiters as well. more like I think they wanted an excuse to hit on us.

Bad News: Little Red is in the shop because H crashed her on the freeway. Sad Day!

Amazing's list of not-so-amazing stuff which must be done every day...

The only way I'll do this is if I write it down, and I put it lots of places. Might as well start here.


0800 - Wake up. No matter what, up by 0800 (yes, I run on the 24 hour clock, sue me)
After morning coffee, Brisk walk around the big loop of the neighborhood (2.5 miles)
Drink water after walking the dogs, also water the plants at the same time
Do 300 Jumping Jacks a day.
100 Push ups a day
100 Sit ups each day
Walk around the loop a second time in the evening.
Do yoga before bed.
Second walk can be skipped on dancing days.
Second walk may be skipped in lieu of sex
When watching TV - Fruit and Tea or Water, ONLY!


This is my plan. So there.

hee hee hee.... back door

pause

Every day I wake up, and I take care of my sister's home. My sister's dogs. My sister.

I check the mail, my phone, my e-mail. Desperate for some word... did I get the job?

My homepage tells me, how many days (and minutes and seconds) until I'm back home, and I anxiously wait for zero.

Facebook tells me about the festivals, the parties, the wacky antics of my friends on either coast.

Each day I give what strength I can, and hide all the pain which I carry.

Here to help. To be strong. Capable. Self-sufficient. Loving. Giving. No one here to give to me.

I've put my life on hold for my sister. Her life had fallen to shit. She needed someone, she was alone. That's what family is for, but I wonder, would any of them have done it for me? I like to think that I wouldn't need the rescue. I know I would never ask for it. But still... I don't have anyone who would pause life for me. I want someone. To be someone's waking thought. The one whose name alone brings with it a smile. I want someone to care as much about me as I would care about them. I'm lonely. Maybe I'm just feeling selfish. But I'm allowed, aren't I? Or maybe I'm just tired.