The beauty of a moment

I know I'm not the most eloquent person, but I had to share something I wrote the other night while trying to capture a perfect moment...


Sometimes in life, you you're going along: you stop, and looks around... and realize:
Life isn't perfect, it never will be, but it's perfect enough. Life may be a jumbled up jigsaw puzzle, but the pieces are starting to come together, and it's a beautiful picture. And even though in life you may still have lots to do, plenty of work to be done and countless things you can improve... It's all good, the world is right, and life is spectacular, incredible, fantastic, magical... Beautiful.

Changeling ways...

So, as we all know, I tend to have this habit of getting bored with life. Whenever this happens my "changeling ways" kick in and I end up making random changes in my life. Sometimes they're small, like my hair color or buying lots of dresses; other times they can be kinda huge, like I move across the country. I like my hair color, though, and I'm working on growing it out, so changes to my hair isn't an option right now, and I like life in Florida WAY too much to leave here. It's the new year, which is a time for changes anyway, and I have been slowly going mad the last few months since I got bored with life and haven't had much of any ideas of what to change, but then, I was sitting here, looking at my fairly naked apartment (which is getting a furniture face life in about a month) and I had a brilliant idea! Wall Vinyls! See, I have this wall, and it's kinda a strange shape, so I don't want to make it an accent wall, but it would perfectly frame a quote. So then I went looking. I have a painting on my wall, "The Singing Butler" :

I love it, it is beautiful. Fairly obvi, it's a couple dancing in the rain, so I thought to myself, "Self, what if you found a quote about dancing to go over on that wall and you could kinda tie in the two?" That's when I found VinylCraze(dot)com, and guess what I found there? You guessed right! Vinyl Wall Quotes! but more specifically, I found one that says:

 "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to Dance in the Rain."

. RIGHT?! So I'm gonna get it in dark red! and I'm gonna paint the half wall where I'm putting my reading chair as an accent wall the same color. YAY for changes!

Happy

I don't know what the cause is, and I'm sure it's a self-perpetuating cycle, but I've been really happy lately. Singing to myself more, dancing around the house, and laughing at silly things more. I'm really excited to be going to Florida on the permanent, or maybe it's #12. Maybe it's the ridiculous dogs I spend my time with, they ARE fairly amusing. Maybe it's all the sun I've been getting lately (yay vitamin D!). Whatever the reason, I'm very Happy. That is all.

Good Things

So... I've been a little bummed out, because #12 is amazing. And kinda perfect. Which makes me wish that I could have a real chance at a relationship with him, rather than starting to date him just in time to leave. Great Things about #12:

• He is an incredible dancer
• He has a real grown-up job (high school teacher)
• He seems to be happy with said grown-up job
• He feels bad for the short notice when cancelling a date 24 hours in advance
• He's a total romantic
• He does NOT like PDA
• He's smart
• He's tall
• He is all muscly and sexy and stuff
• His bachelors degree was in Percussion Performance (read: he's a musician)
• He can sing
• Perhaps most importantly: He compliments me a lot!

I'm not setting any rules about this. I've made that mistake before. Instead, I'm simply going to see what happens, and enjoy the ride. Who knows what will happen. And, if nothing else, he's helping me get over #5, which is a REALLY good thing.

Internship

I didn't get a Disney Professional Internship... sadness.


But instead I got a full time job... YAY!

I'm in trouble

It's a really good thing that I'm moving to Florida in a week, but it's a bad thing too. I found a really really great guy. And I'm smitten. Like, REALLY smitten. #12 has been talking to me more and more the last few weeks at the saturday night dances, and then this past week I told him that it was probably going to be my last weekend dancing in Houston, since I'm leaving soon and have a WHOLE LOT of stuff to get done before then. At which point he looked really sad, and later asked if I'd like to go get Starbucks after dancing, since it would probably be my last week. PSSH! YEAH!!! It was a really good night of dancing, he's a really good dancer and he asked me to dance a few times, plus some of my other fav leads were there. So we left Te early and I followed him to Starbucks, which was really busy. While waiting in line he told me that my face sparkles when I smile, and that I have an infectious laugh, and he'd wanted to ask me out for the last two weeks, but had assumed I had a boyfriend. Really guys? Never assume that, cause if she has a boyfriend, she'll be flattered that you asked, you'll make her day, and she'll tell you. Once we had our drinks, we decided to go for a drive where he showed me the place where there's Blues Dancing on thursday nights and showed me Rice University (where he got his Master's degree), all the while talking music. Good music at that, Andrews Sisters, Sinatra, Sammy, as well as Buble, Connick, McKelle and Gardot. We got out to walk around a park, and he sang "You've got what it takes" and "Your Song" to me, then kissed me. Apparently I have addictive kisses and "Lips like Rose Petals." Just the thought of him makes me smile. I'm in trouble. He's as muscled as #5 and a good 6 inches taller. And have I mentioned his mad dance skills? How bout that he teaches High School? Yeah, I'm in trouble, a tall muscled dancer with a grown up job and a great voice. le sigh. And now I have to leave in a week. Get to leave, I mean, I'm going to have my own place, no roommates, no family, just me. That makes me happy. Really Happy.


In general, I'm really Happy right now. Capital H and all.


I went over to his place on Monday evening, we watched a movie and had pizza. We're going to see each other a few more times before I leave, for which I'm glad.


Also, cause I haven't posted it in a while, got hit on by a guy at the beach who wanted to take my picture cause I was so pretty (#27). Another waiter hit on me (#28), and there was a guy(#29) at the symphony last week who hit on me - he wants to make music with me, lol! - and so I must say I've have a wonderful week.

“Courage is saying, 'Maybe what I'm doing isn't working; maybe I should try something else.'”


~Anna Lappe

How to impress on the first date...

So, on occasion I have put out text messages to my guy friends, asking a random question (short hair vs long, blonde, brunette or redhead, random things like this). I have decided to keep tabs on the questions and responses I get, cause I find it interesting/funny.


Tonight's Question was:
What is the best way for a woman to make a good impression on a first date?
Responses were as follows:


From Spartacus (#5):
"Laugh at all of his jokes, no matter how lame they are, and then put out by the end of the night."
"And yes, I'm joking. Laughing at lame jokes is totally optional."
(from me: "it was a serious question!)
"Ah, in that case, never having personally been  a GIRL on a date, all I say is to listen politely in conversation and don't be a bitch (and let him pay)."
"And if he expects you to pay, or go dutch = Red Flag."


From Humphrey Bogart (#6):
"Go naked! ;)"
(from me: "I'm serious!)
"So was I. Just be yourself you're an awesome person if he doesn't like you for who you are, f@#$ him, I think you're great. ;)"


From Loser:
"put real interest in what he might talk about."


From Daughtry:
"Eat"
"And then don't make him start all the conversations. Equal shares.  :)"


From Crazy!:
"Obviously you want to display your intelligence, and don't worry about how pretentious you may seem. Then act sexy, and drop inuendoes. Those two will blend"


From Four:
"Make jokes"
"Dont be weird or be afraid to touch"


From Brown:
"Well I am multi faceted so it depends on the gubut be yourself and show your smart and not a push over make him work for it"


From de Play-a:
"Spread ur legs and wear perfume that smells like Beer. Sweet, sweet Beer"
"Or smile, be playful, and have confidence. Either works."


From Galveston:
"Telling them if you want a second date"


From Creeper:
"Be yourself first of all, because you're awesome. Second be willing to come up with ideas if he runs short of plans and let you sense of humor out since laughter is a great memory booster."


From Married:
"The best way for a woman to make a good impression on a first date is by not walking out when she finds out I have been married for 8 years."


:) This is exactly what I got back from the guys (punctuation, spelling and all), no typos on my end. I got some interesting responses, and I have awesome guy friends!

Whilst, yes whilst.

So, whilst reading a fantasy book (cause I like them, and I have time for reading again) I came across this passage, and I liked it:

"Let the warriors clamor after gods of blood and thunder; love is hard, harder than steel and thrice as cruel. It is as inexorable as the tides, and life and death alike follow in it's wake."
~from Kushiel's Chosen by Jacqueline Carey

Florida Sunshine

So I got back from a week in Florida last night. Was an interesting time. Happily, I stayed with #5, who commented on the fact that I seem happier and healthier than I have been the last few times he's seen me. And, well, we did have some fun... but he was more distant than he has been. At first. After last time, I think one of our mutual friends must have tipped him off to how obvious certain things about his body language were. He had a very... studied way of acting toward me, at first. As my trip wore on, he slipped back into his old body language: rubbing my knee in the car, pulling me close to him on the couch, holding me as we slept, leaning toward me and mirroring my body language at meals. All very indicative body language. It's time. Time to say good bye. The very thought of it makes me want to cry. But it's what I have to do. In order to reach Happy and Healthy, I can't continue to give him love, not if it will be unreturned. I will tell him that I wish he would give us one more chance, that I think it's one we deserve, but that I am a realist, so good bye. Don't ask me how I'll do this without breaking down in front of him, but I have to. I have to.


Friday #5 and I went for Lollicup, then (as is our habit) went to Bad Apple Comics next door for a while, then hit Barnes and Noble. Once in B&N, we went our separate ways, wondering about the store. I was hit on by three different strangers... it made me smile, like a lot. Especially the guy who asked me why I was so beautiful (#22). I've been hit on enough that it doesn't usually make me blush, but this guy succeeded in making me blush. #23 and #24 weren't nearly as fun of memories, they were very... average. But at least #22 will stay in my memory. Saturday night went drinking with #5, met up with an old friend... #25. He walked up and grabbed my butt by way of a greeting. I love him. #5 started a tab and told me to get whatever I want to drink on the tab. Which, well, that's nice enough as it is. When I got up to go get myself my second drink, I was intercepted by a man at the bar, who bought me a shot. Love my life.


On an unhealthy note, my night shirt smells like #5, it makes me happy.

Break Even

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing, just prayin to a god that I don't beleive in. Cause I got time while [he] got freedom. Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even... What am I s'posed to do when the best part of me was always you? What am I s'posed to say when I'm choked up and you're OK? I'm falling to pieces... They say bad things happen for a reason, but no wise words gonna stop the bleedin'. Cause [he]'s moved on while I'm still greiving, and when a heart breaks, no it don't break, no it don't break even.

What am I gonna do, when the best part of me was always you?
What am I s'posed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?
I'm falling to pieces, yeah.
I'm falling to pieces.



I'm staying in your apartment, sleeping in your bed, and I'm falling to pieces.

I shoulda stayed here

I wish so many things, I wish I had done so many things differently. But I can't change what has been done. There are things that have happened in my life because of the decision I made that are good, and spectacular, but I still wish I had made a different decision.

le sigh

la la laaaaaaa!

I will be in Florida in 4 days!!! YAY!!! While I'm there, I'm gonna be looking at apartments to live in, from the research I've done, I think I've found a place -Bella Apartments- that will be nice, have to actually tour the place before making any decisions, but hopefully I'll soon be calling it home. Still no word yet on the Professional Internship, I would really REALLY like to know soon. But most notably, before I leave FL to come back to TX, so I can sign a lease and start getting everything cemented and ready for the summer.

This summer is going to get a pretty awesome kick-off, tho. May 30-June 1 I'm going on a Caribbean Cruise with my family. It will be AMAZING!! can't wait. And then I'll go straight to Florida for the summer. (I'm excited, if you couldn't tell)

4 days to Florida!

Maximum 21 days until I hear about the PI!

the waiting = killing me

this sucks

So, I've been working out consistently for the last two weeks (and inconsistently before that), and I have come to a conclusion. Back in high school, when I was swimming 4-5 miles a day (six days a week) and spending every other day in the weight room AND dancing a few times a week, I must have been a masochist. (random factoid of the day) Either that, or I'm getting old. Honestly, I better start loosing weight soon, cause I don't know how I can be doing this and eating less and not be loosing weight.

I leave you with a simple word:

OW!

#6 has been texting me all day. Kinda makes me happy. Dirty texting always makes me happy, though. Why is it that I only seem to be attracted to guys whom I don't live near? Seriously!

I'm sexy

http://boxbrown.com/?p=716

Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.

-Mark Twain 

How news is delivered...

I have it from a reliable source that if I am accepted for a Professional Internship, I should be getting a phone call, and if I am not accepted, the denial will come in the form of an e-mail. I'm so incredible nervous to find out, despite the fact that I feel like I'm well qualified for a PI, I don't like waiting. I was originally told mid-April, but they later started telling people "by May 1st" so who knows. Sometime in the next 24 days I'll find out.

*insert freak out here*

wow, I've kinda been neglecting the list...

so... first off, good news! I will be staying with #5 next week when I'm in Florida. I shall play it cool and not push for anything. I am just so happy to be staying with him.


#17... So about a week and a half ago my sister and I went out for Thai food, and we ended up being helped by the Assistant Manager. It was a slow night, and the waiters were sitting around not doing anything, but HE came over and was helping us. Very cute and flirty. Then, he comes over and tells us that our car has a flat, so when we were done he came out and changed the tire for us (behold: the power of the skirt). So I asked him if I could buy him a drink when he got off work, as a way of saying thank you, so he called me when he got off work and we met up for some beers at BJ's. Unfortunately, he had a gang sign tattooed on his arm and some of his friends swung by, and they were SKETCH. But it was fun for a night.


#18 was yet another waiter. My life is funny. Mondays are (were, H now works nights, so it doesn't work anymore) Margarita Mondays. We would go to this little mexican restaurant for happy hour (which lasts two days) and for yummy food. Last time we were there, #18 was one of our waiters (we had like, 5). He literally asked me if I knew what the name of the meal I ordered - la bonita- meant, and then told me it meant "Beautiful, just like you" (!!) and then later flat out asked me if I had a boyfriend, and if I needed one. It was REALLY REAALLLY FUNNY! #19, #20, and #21 were all our waiters as well. more like I think they wanted an excuse to hit on us.

Bad News: Little Red is in the shop because H crashed her on the freeway. Sad Day!

Amazing's list of not-so-amazing stuff which must be done every day...

The only way I'll do this is if I write it down, and I put it lots of places. Might as well start here.


0800 - Wake up. No matter what, up by 0800 (yes, I run on the 24 hour clock, sue me)
After morning coffee, Brisk walk around the big loop of the neighborhood (2.5 miles)
Drink water after walking the dogs, also water the plants at the same time
Do 300 Jumping Jacks a day.
100 Push ups a day
100 Sit ups each day
Walk around the loop a second time in the evening.
Do yoga before bed.
Second walk can be skipped on dancing days.
Second walk may be skipped in lieu of sex
When watching TV - Fruit and Tea or Water, ONLY!


This is my plan. So there.