Dear [#5],
There's something I need to say, something which I need to put out there. This is not something you have to react to, or respond to at all, I just want everything out in the open, then I'm gone.
Before I met you, I was the girl who dealt with things. I got over guys. My exes have called me cold-hearted and a heartbreaker, because once a relationship is over, it's over. And I'm done. Then you happen, and everything changed. I ended things with a guy who bought me diamonds, who bought me many pretty things, because of how I felt with you: safer than I've ever felt. Then I left, and I'm sorry I did.
I went back to Utah,did what I'd always done before, but I couldn't get over you. I go out with new guys, date new men, and none of it matters. It's not the same.
When I'm with you, I feel safe. Safe to face inner demons, to share my secrets and fears, safe to be weak.
You are amazing, and I'm sorry to have been such a pain.
I'm moving to Florida, then I'm not going anywhere. I wish you would give me, give us, one more chance, it's one I feel we deserve.
I love you, but won't harass you anymore.
Good Bye.
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Does he read your blog? That could get tricky if he does. It might be healthier to not go there until you see how things are between yous guys in April. Or even this summer. If I were you, I would wait and see what summer brings. It may be he'll give you a chance without you even asking. Don't push it too hard, no guy reacts well to that. Just be patient, hang in there. Stay fabulous and don't have an agenda.
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